I'm a bit late to my own party guys as my birthday was over a week ago now haha But. Wow. Wow. Wow. Where to begin. I had no feelings whatsoever towards my birthday this year, not put much thought into, didn't want or need any pressies so to speak. Unless a genie in a bottle could grant me a few hundred thousand pounds in the bank and the ability to eat cake and not get a phatter booty I'd be good haha seriously tho, if i'm honest the thought of it made me really meh and down for whatever reason and i felt people wouldn't really care it was my birthday, i was in a self pity pit i guess. It's been a mentally tough year on many spectrums of my life (relationship, finances, parenting, this whole covid shit, having no routine or normality) I just felt it wasnt worth looking forward to i guess.
However there are a few very special people in my life who really pushed the boat out and spoilt me, i got lots of birthday spends (always great when you're a grown up as when the bills are paid there's fock all left to show for it or treat yourself with) So thanks guys, i got to treat myself to my first pandora braclet and charms and a new coat! Winner. I got plenty of cute presents too, lots of chocolate (mainly reeses nom nom nom) and i got a special delivery of birthday do-nuts which were absolute food porn man. Ummmm i also had the most amazing fox birthday cake made for me which made me squeal as foxes are my fav!! Bunches of flowers.... and i got took away to grasmere in the lake district for a few nights, where i got to recharge my batteries and re-evaluate a lot of things in my life, it was fantastic for my mental health and well being to get away.
Honestly if you've never been, head to the lakes, its very similar to my soul place (betws y coed) but much much bigger haha, I fell in love with grasmere, the feel of the place was just perfect. I felt so relaxed and like the whole weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders, which technically i guess it was as I'd been in lockdown with my 5 children for 5 months, i was mentally, emotionally and spiritually done in and needed a break man. I've not laughed so much and felt so free in a long time, literally up until 1am gabbing in bed and full on mutley laughing till my eyes were streaming and my tummy hurt.
I've decided I'm longer going to acknowledge being another year older, not because i'm in denial of my age or anything, i fully accept that I'm 34, however rather than counting the numbers I'm going to count the memories and the experiences, the growth spiritually and mentally, that extra step in life towards my full purpose.
I've also decided that traditional new years resolutions are dead to me and instead i am going to work by my own rules and run from birthday to birthday, making new goals and running towards them with purpose to ensure by my next birthday i can proudly say I've smashed them and added to my memory and growth jar. Life is ugly and beautiful, happy and sad and all that crazy shit in between but i fully intend to live it with purpose and feel every damn second of it. YOLO.... like literally!!
Thank you so so soooo bloody much to all my family and friends who made my day of birth so special, i honestly feel like my little jar of love is bubbling over its that full. I'm so blessed and thankful for you guys. A special thank you to everyone whom took the time to wish me a happy birthday through social media platforms too, it means a lot that you've took the time out of your day to send me some love and positive vibes, you guys rock.
Much love all,