Body Image & Intuitive eating

The last year has been a write off for me in terms of "living" however... one to always look for the silver lining in things, it has been a year of learning. 

We live in a society that is OBSESSED with body image & weight. I'll give you a recent example. Rebel Wilson has recently spoken out about her frustration with the media's obsession about her body image over her achievements and her hard work as an actress. Boldly stating that before her weight loss she was rarely acknowledged and now all of a sudden she's on the covers of various magazines. Not for her work achievements but for her weight loss. 

Jonah Hill also recently took to Instagram to tell his followers that it doesn’t feel good to read comments about his body. He acknowledges that his fans mean well, but he still doesn’t want them to comment on his body. His plea comes months after he opened up about his struggles with body image. Whether in person or online, praising someone for their weight loss can seem innocent however body image is something that a lot of people struggle with.

Myself included as most of you know I struggle with body dysmorphia. However throughout my life I have actually had quite a bad relationship with food, so this particular blog topic is something I am very passionate about and could ramble on for hours about.

My earliest memories of a negative relationship with food and body image go back to my early teens where I was obsessive over fitting into a certain size or being a certain scale weight. I would live off weight watchers soups and diet coke, whilst taking laxatives daily and making myself sick. I would walk 5 miles every evening to be sure I burnt off as much food as possible, all whilst working out twice a day. I would then binge and eat a ridiculous amount of calories most often secretly.

I remember buying something like 8 chocolate bars and eating them in secret in the sunbed cubicle where nobody could see me, before going home and either being sick or taking pills... to then go back to restricting myself of food. Hence forth this nasty binge & restrict cycle I will touch upon in this blog.

Moving on... Now we are born instinctive, a baby for example would not binge eat. If you gave a baby a 9oz bottle, they may choose to leave 3oz of it as they are eating intuitively - they are stopping when their body is telling them that they are full. However as children get older this changes. Have you ever told your child "if you eat all your dinner, you can have dessert"?

What we are in fact doing, is teaching our children to unlearn their natural instincts and ignore they're actually full and instead do as they're told. If they do this - they will be rewarded for it. It is highly likely you were told the same thing too as a child, be it by your parents, grandparents, in my case even my dinner lady. Thus starting this disordered relationship with food. 

Lets take body image one step further by looking into why we obsess over looking a certain way or being a certain weight. Where are your thoughts around what you need to look like coming from? Did you get these from a magazine cover telling you that you need to look a certain way to be adored or validated? Maybe an ex partner told you they preferred a certain look so you became consumed with trying to fit into that box. 

I want you to ask yourself, does trying to look like this make me feel happier? Does being a certain weight on the scale make me more content within my body? Who am I trying to impress and why? Why am I seeking external validation?

I'm telling you now that you could eat the exact same food day in a day as me and do the exact same workouts in a day as me. BUT you would look completely different to me as our genetic makeup is completely different. Stop looking outside of yourself for answers and validation. You already have all the answers you need within yourself- you just need to quieten the outside noise first. 

Once you can understand these emotions behind the why the next plausible step is to understand your body. Understand your digestive system and your hormonal cycle. Even your cortisol levels. Stress can play a massive massive part in our over eating and we're going way back into history now. Lets take a dog for example, my husky for say. Huskies come from living in the snow and are used for sled pulling, they dig holes in the snow to sleep in, in order to keep warm. 

My husky is a lazy cow and would not be pulling sledges, but I'm telling you she can pull. She's driven and purposeful when walking. When she was a pup pre training, she would dig countless holes in the garden. Why... because it is in her blood. Way back when in the cave men times, stress to the human body was famine, not knowing when your next hunt would be successful and you could eat. Therefore when we could, we would gorge ourselves to settle them cortisol levels and ease the stress on our bodies 1) from the hunger and 2) from the hunt. 

Stress in todays society looks a little different, such as:

• People pleasing - its emotionally exhausting and stressful on the body
• You hate your job
• Your relationship isn't right for you
• You didn't get as much likes on a picture as you'd hoped

And so on..

But our natural instincts are still within us and we do tend to reach for food to ease that stress. Binge eating and disordered eating is never as plain and simple as that. Sure sometimes you may just be plain over restrictive with your diet and not eating enough thus the binge-restrict cycle you need to be aware of and break. However most of the time eating behaviours are a symptom of something else- if you think you're over eating it is more likely a secondary response to other things going on in your life so seek to understand and eliminate/change things where possible.

Because lets face it we don't eat a whole pack of donuts and instantly we feel great do we? More often than not we feel lethargic, our digestive system feels sluggish or we have the shits, our skin breaks out in spots or is oily as our body tries to rid itself of the toxins from a binge. But what makes it a binge as opposed to an enjoyable blow out?? It's the guilt and the shame spiral that happens afterwards that is normally accompanied by restriction. It is this binge - restrict cycle that makes it true binge eating. 

So, if you cannot control your thoughts regarding your relationship with food and body image. It will not matter how amazing your physical self may look - you still won't be happy. 

Takeaways from todays blog:

Get to the bottom of why you want to look a certain way, is it for health reasons or is it to seek external validation. 
Get to the bottom of your relationship with food, is it healthy or is it disordered.
Could you be eating more mindfully ; stop when you're full, only eat when you're hungry etc
Don't feel guilty if one day you're not that hungry so eat little, but the next your famished and eat a larger meal. Think instead about why this may be, are you on day 21 of your cycle when your hormones are raging, are you under more stress in work and reaching for more food instead as a natural coping mechanism? 
Be more mindful of your body and how you speak about yourself

Post blog thoughts.

I understand how difficult it can be, to be more mindful and control your obsessive thoughts around food. Like any addiction it is hard to quit, however unlike alcohol, drugs, sex, cigarettes' and so on.. we can live without these things. But we simply cannot live without food, therefore finding a healthy balance and relationship with food can be extremely difficult after years and years of being taught to clear our plates in order to have pudding mindset. That is a lot to unlearn and it will take time, patience and learning to love where you're at, whilst working towards where you want to be.

I hope you have found this helpful and informative. Any questions or if you are seeking any help or coaching please do not hesitate to email me at steph.hopeholistichealing.com

Thank you for reading and much love,
Steph. 

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