The past year was full of changes for me as I’m sure it was for you. And as most years do, this one went by seemingly at the speed of light. So much so that I haven’t had a chance to reflect too much on anything that’s happened – the good and the bad.

With the new year on the horizon it’s important to let go of any baggage that’s weighing you down and make space for what’s to come for you - all good things I hope.

January is a time to start afresh, but you have to address the things that held you back in the previous year. Otherwise, you risk falling into similar habits and chasing the same dreams without success.

If you’re ready to make some space in your life – physically, mentally, and emotionally – here are 10 things you should let go of before the new year rolls around.

10 Things To Let Go Of Before The New Year

1. Fear of the future
Most of us feel motivated at the start of a new year with excitement around our new goals. That being said, the new year can also be daunting. You might not have a solid plan or bucket list for your future, and things might feel more unknown than ever. If you’ve been feeling unsure of where you’re headed or what the future might hold, don’t stress. When you try to imagine a whole year in front of you, it’s only going to cause you to panic. Instead, take things day-by-day and don’t feel like you have to have your whole life figured out before the new year starts.

2. The need to be busy
Over the past few years, self-care has become one of the most talked-about topics. Even so, I still don’t think we’re taking self-care seriously, we need some discipline when it comes to making time for ourselves. Most of us feel the pressure to stay busy due to societal expectations, but it can also come from avoiding the things you need to address in your life. Let go of the need to be busy and embrace self-care to the fullest this next year.

3. Bad spending habits
How was this year for you in terms of money? Did you find yourself spending more than you should have? Look through your past spending history and see if there’s one area where you can cut down (Justeat, is that you?) and make a goal for the new year.

4. People on your timeline who drain your energy
Cutting people out of your life is easier said than done, but it’s a lot easier to control on social media. If you’re following people who anger you, post too much, make you feel jealous, or make you feel negative – unfollow them. If you can go beyond the timeline and cut out negative friendships and relationships IRL, that’s even better.

5. Criticism of what you didn’t accomplish
Though the end of the year is a time to reflect on the good, it can bring up a lot of regrets and ‘should-haves’. If you review the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the year and find that you haven’t accomplished them yet, don’t be too hard on yourself. There’s always time.

6. The need to figure everything out
As put together as other people may seem, it’s rare to find anyone whose life turned out the way they planned it. Instead of forcing yourself to try and ‘figure your life out’, give yourself a little space to let life happen to you. Amazing things happen when you least expect them to. Getting frustrated because you haven’t figured things out isn’t worth it.

7. Physical clutter
Physical clutter can have a huge impact on your mental state of being. If your space is brimming with things you don’t need, consider making some physical space for the new year. Get rid of clothes you’ve never worn, declutter your home, and create a peaceful space around you.

Why not try giving this blog a read on tips to declutter and simplify your life?
​Top Tips To Simplify Life - TheWarriorLady

8. Fear that you won’t be successful
When you tell yourself that you’ll never get anywhere, the chances of you getting anywhere are pretty slim. Use the time before the new year to reflect on the thoughts you have about yourself and your abilities. Your mindset plays a huge role in your success (whatever success means to you) so make this next year the year of believing in yourself.

9. Lack of self-discipline
I mentioned in this post that self-discipline is such an important part of self-care, and it’s also an important part of achieving your goals. These days, everything and everyone is competing for your attention. Without self-discipline, you risk getting distracted by everything. If you have the ability to do what you say you’ll do and stay focused, you’ll be a force to be reckoned with.

10. The need to be in control
Stress happens when you feel like you’re not in control. The hard truth is that you’re not in control of most things in your life. You can rarely predict how the next chapter of your life will play out, so avoid wasting your energy on trying to control everything. Accept that you cannot control the circumstances of your life, but you CAN control your reactions to the circumstances.

A good additional read to add on to this point would be Letting Go Of what we cannot control & Going Foward With Intent. - TheWarriorLady

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Thank you for reading.
Happy New Year.
Steph 
​xxx

Going forward with intent.
​I don’t know about you, but I feel pretty proud that I made it through this year in one piece. As I analyse the ups and downs, I recognize how momentous life truly is, no matter how chaotic it's been. One thing I have massively struggled with this year was the emotional cycle of excitement, frustration, sadness, hope, excitement, frustration, sadness, giving up etc It was vicious. Every single thing I had planned and had to look forward to was cancelled, so I'd rearrange, focus my thoughts on the next plan and it would inevitably come crashing down again with lockdown after lockdown until I became stuck in this emotional tunnel. It is easy to get stuck in the tunnels of our minds; to fret, pick and prod and overthink. Inevitably wearing ourselves down emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Often, we don’t complete the stress cycle because we live within a social construct that keeps us quiet. Dr Emily Nagasaki says “Think of emotions as tunnels. If you go all the way through them you get to the light at the end. Exhaustion happens when we get stuck in an emotion.”

The burnout I experienced this year was a result of not allowing myself to fully feel fatigued, frustrated, or sad. I grit my teeth and hit the pavement by responding with a busy trauma based "keep busy" ethic so I don't have to acknowledge how I feel, until I crashed and burned. 

So as you reflect and project, and even make new years resolutions. I highly encourage you to remember a simple guiding force that you may already know: you have no control over the past, very little over the future and no control whatsoever over how other people treat you, only to how you respond. A lot of what weighs us down is not actually ours to carry, let go of thing's you cannot control.

Let It Go
I begin by asking myself, “How does worrying about this help me or make me feel better?” Try writing it down, by doing this I can see that there is no chance of influencing or changing the outcome, so I need to try to let it go and focus inward on myself. 

So next, I write down, “What can I do to change my reaction towards things?” or "What boundaries can I put into place to protect myself?" and go from there.

BOUNDARIES ARE A FORM OF PROTECTION.It was January/February this year when I discovered that I had no clear set boundaries. I allowed others to invade my physical and emotional space and disrespect me. I prioritized their needs and in turn, denied my own. I learned quite early on that life is unforgiving. What I didn’t yet realize, was that the person that needed the most forgiveness was myself. Instead, I turned outward and showered the world with the kindness and love I so desperately needed myself. This pattern served its purpose for the circumstances surrounding my childhood but afforded little utility to my adult life. The consequence of having no clear boundaries was that I became disconnected from myself. Piece by piece, I chipped away integrity and authenticity. After being so far removed for such a long time — I eventually lost myself along the way. Physically, emotionally and mentally I had reached my absolute limit.

At its core, boundary work involves self-care at the deepest level. Practicing healthy boundaries is a powerful way to practice self-love and acceptance, both inward and outward. I was able to finally put my foot down and say that “this is enough” when I realized that I am enough. Like any worthwhile endeavour, boundary setting is a necessary practice that requires commitment and cultivation. I imagine a boundary as thin, transparent, film that surrounds and keeps me safe.

Finally, “what can’t I influence or change now (or maybe even ever?)”

First and foremost, you can’t change the fact that we are amid a pandemic, and plans are changing weekly, if not daily. There may of been hiccups this year, but we can’t change that or dwell on it. Here are some things I like to do to lessen the stress when I feel it bubbling up.

I like to go for a good walk to, whack my earphones in and zone out/focus on what needs to be done. Regular aerobic exercise has been shown to decrease overall tension levels, elevate and stabilize mood, improve sleep, and improve self-esteem. Even five minutes of aerobic exercise can begin to stimulate anti-anxiety effects! You tube "lazy girl workout" for a quick effective, low impact workout for a nice pick me up.

Or maybe even a pamper? Schedule in a little "Me" time, a good soak in the bath and a shave usually has me feeling like a new woman, along with painting my nails and a good ole facemask.

I also find baking extremely therapeutic and rewarding. So I could even have a workout, whip up a loaf cake mix and get it in the oven, then go for a soak and a pamper whilst it's baking. Treating myself after my pamper to a nice brew and a slice of cake with a good book = The ultimate in good pick me up vibes. Speaking of vibes...

Be aware of Your Energy
Now, your energy is kind of the catch-all for this section of intent. When you focus your energy or vibe on feeling happy, joyful, and excited about things, the chances are it will rub off on those around you too. By merely “putting out those good vibes,” from the way you speak on the phone to the excitement you create will make people feel welcome and happy around you. This will help to relieve any bad juju that may be floating around in people’s minds during this time of unrest. I'm a strong believer in bad juju and that we should treat others how we want to be treated- You reap what you sow and all that jazz.


Make time to do nothing. Yes. Really.
My brain is an organ. It needs care and restoration too. If you haven’t noticed, as I lay out my own intentions for the new year, I’m a driven, goal-oriented person who plans and plans and plans. I have no patience for unproductive days. And thus, what I really need is an unproductive day. Go figure! It’s like giving my muscles a break from exercising. They can’t strengthen without a rest day. Sometimes a full day isn’t attainable but even just a few hours to lie around, whether in some grass or on a couch, binge watch Netflix or get lost in a good book can really work wonders.